There Is Always A First...
My first encounter was a good one. She wasn't local, but wasn't too far. We met at a normal chain restaurant - nothing fancy, very relaxed. She was good looking, I was happy with what I saw. It could have been much worse. After talking a bit over the meal, we decided to go to a local place, get a drink and hang out some more, followed by a bit of making out in the back of the car. Overall the impression was fun - and definitely was looking forward to the next time.
Over the next few weeks, we met up a few more times. Sometimes in her area, sometimes in mine. We'd go to dinner, and we'd do something afterwards, and usually have a little bit of fun to top the night off. Looking back on it now, it was actually the cheaper experiences I've had, but she was very attentive to my desires for the most part - moreso than the majority of girls I have met since, who only seem to care about their own desires.
We had a set agreement, she'd get a bonus each visit, and she seemed happy with it, at least in the beginning. I was happy as well; things seemed to be fine. After the fifth visit or so, things went a little bit weird, and eventually erupted into an epic one-sided yelling match, definitely influenced by alcohol, prescription drugs (either she forgot to take them, or that was a side effect), and an obvious distrust towards men.
Either way, as quickly as the relationship began, it had ended. It was definitely not going to be something worth rectifying, especially with such a large pool of fish still out there in the sea.
I would like to say that if I could go back now and realize the positive aspects of her company, I would have probably addressed things differently, and perhaps it wouldn't have become an issue. However, she falls into the bin of "I know we agreed to this, you are doing exactly what we agreed, but I am not happy with it or being taken care of" - or what I should call a "bait and switch" girl.
In: Stories · Tagged with: bait and switch
Age... It's Not Just A Number
I'm tired of hearing "I am mature for my age" because in my experience, that's just not so.
If they aren't busy trying to party on your dime, too busy partying somewhere else or hanging out with their friends and not able to make time for their "SD" then what the hell do they think they're doing?
Apparently there is a misconception out there that you can make little or no effort and get something for it. Or, as long as you put out a couple times a month, they don't have anything to do with you.
Any time I've seen an SD situation portrayed anywhere, it's quite the opposite. The girl is actually respects her SD, and is available for him. Prioritizes him sometimes over her own social life. Why? Because he's probably paying for a decent amount of it.
So once again, it comes down to this. Just have your shit together and stop lying on your profiles or saying whatever it is to get what you want. Just be honest and you'll have a much richer, more fulfilling and longer term relationship. You'd rather have one SD providing for you than 100 with all their weird diseases, fetishes or demands, wouldn't you?
Stood Up.
Here is what I do not get. I have been stood up countless times by so-called "sugar babies" and it does not make sense.
How is someone supposed to take you seriously when you can't even show up to meet? If you want money for your time, company or whatever, you have to at least put some effort into it. How is a man with limited time supposed to deal with some flaky, childish bullshit? All you have to do is show up - that's your end of the bargain.
jDate, Putting the Jewish Back in to Dating
I get multiple emails per day from jDate. They keep sending me the SAME people over and over. They say we're a match. I already marked them as "No" - technically I've told the site "No, I am not interested" so stop trying to match me up with them!
Then, any of the half-ass cute ones haven't logged in for over 60 days. Totally not worth the month at all. Like most dating sites, it seems it is another scam. Just a more mainstream one backed by a more reputable company. A scam nonetheless.
Three Little Words
I bet you thought it was "I love you" ... well it's not.
"It's only money" is the phrase you never want to hear a girl say to you. Why? If it was "only money" then why are they asking for it?
Don't tell me about my finances. Don't try to play it off like it's nothing. If it's only money, then why do you need it? Can't you tell whoever you owe money to the same thing? Why are you even looking for some sort of gift or allowance if "it's only money"?
When a girl tells you that... run for the hills. Seriously.
Being Killed By Kindness
Let's be honest here - I'm a decent person. At least, that's what I believe, and what I consider to be an honest statement.
I don't do harm to other people, I may be a bit of a jokester, but I never really do anything malicious.
I sit here staring at the multiple online profiles of girls who have ripped me off for thousands of dollars, and don't miss a wink of sleep at night. They go about their days as if the world owes them something. They don't seem to care that they made promises to pay back money or even provide any sort of companionship. The money I gave them (or "loaned", in some cases) is my pain to work off, and their benefit. I never got any real pleasure out of that, I might as well have lit it on fire - it may have lasted longer, and wouldn't feel so melancholy now.
You see, for it to have been just one person, I could have disregarded it. But to have it done by multiple people both makes me look (and feel) like an absolute idiot, and also makes me believe that a vast majority of people by nature are absolutely horrible human beings.
Even after confronted with the truth, the promises of repayment and payback are empty, answered only with silence or more excuses. Typically the former. It doesn't really make me forget it - not only am I still paying it off, but it's such absolutely absurd situations to have been in and look back on in disbelief. All I did was try to be understanding, kind and decent, and it was met with false promises and a lot of very interesting lies.
What did I do to deserve this? How are these people so comfortable with manipulation? What is it in me that can't decide to be manipulative and take advantage of others for my gain to try to pay off the massive dent in my life that these pathetic excuses have left behind?
A lot of people seem to believe in karma. "They'll get what's coming to them" and such. I don't see anything bad happening to them so far. I seem them flourishing in fact...
You Live in Oregon and You've Never Been in Playboy
... so why do you think you're worth $10,000-20,000/month?
Women in this state are crazy. Especially the ones who are on a sugar daddy website, but say "no sexual favors" - are you serious? You can find a penpal anywhere. Look at urbandictionary for the general, socially definition for what a sugar daddy is - it includes some level of sex, the companionship depends on the person.
I think there's only a couple women in this state that might be worth five figures. That kind of money is for LA, Vegas, the ritzy places. Even then, you still need to be smokin' hot.
Don't just expect to get things for free, especially when you're not even that attractive. There's a reason people have jobs and whores exist - if people didn't have to do anything to get paid, they wouldn't. So stop pretending you're special and start thinking like a businesswoman.
What Do *You* Want?
Is that a hard question?
One would think this is the ideal situation for someone to be in. You get the opportunity to say "this is what I want" and let the other person can decide if that sounds appropriate to the situation or not.
Many times it has come to this - the "what do you want" and "what do I get" discussion, and it winds up being a royal pain in the ass, in my experience. Why? You obviously know what the top demand will be - sexual pleasure, but perhaps it's actually less. But the other party doesn't know what you're looking for exactly. It could be a variety of things - money, travel, a place to live, shopping sprees, who knows?
Be assertive, be direct, be honest. You'll get what you want, or you'll discover you're wasting everyone's time including your own.
How About A Legit Dating Site?
It's common knowledge (and if it's not, WAKE THE FUCK UP) that online dating sites typically do anything in their power to make you pony up and pay to communicate. I have firsthand knowledge of many sites and their fraudulent activities, from not cancelling memberships to paying good looking people to model for profiles, to flat out making fake profiles.
Each site I look at is at least $25/month*. Most sites are more. The way that I handle any site is I look through every realistic profile I can - distance, attraction level, everything - until I have gone through and messaged, bookmarked or somehow otherwise noted every possible profile I might be interested in.
Funny how a lot of websites highlight "hot locals" but when you see their "last online" date it's weeks or months ago - hardly a "hot" local, if they haven't even been around. Online dating may be a craze and may be successful for a lot of people, but so far I've hardly received any replies to messages, and trust me - I send a lot. When I do get a reply, it's bland or in the case of the last couple - actually insulting.
You may think I'm a jaded, bitter fuck, based on this website, but I approach each situation with hope, and the pictures and profile I post on these sites is one of a decent guy who isn't ugly, but in that big pool of "cute" and who is easygoing and enjoys just about anything. I usually add something in to show a little bit of my sense of humor - as that is one thing almost universally noted by women as being desirable. However, nothing really seems to work.
So with that, I've done my perusal of one site today, exhausted it, and am tired of browsing dating sites for the day; so unless I get an email, perhaps tomorrow I will have enough patience to try again with a different site. It would be nice to know I'm not wasting my time though writing fake profiles or other filler.
* Yes, I know plentyoffish is free. Downside: that means it is full of 100x more douchebags flooding the inboxes of women.
So You Want To Be A "Sugar Baby"
Here's some pretty simple rules you should consider:
- You're getting money (typically), going shopping, an exotic vacation or something along those lines. Why the hell would you stand someone up or stop talking to someone if they're going to be giving you presents and things? Stop being flaky. Why are you even bothering?
- Don't lie on your profile and say you don't smoke when you smoke a pack a day. Represent yourself properly. I am so tired of meeting women who are not close to what their profile says.
- Have your shit together. A "sugar daddy" isn't paying for your company to have to deal with your stupid drama and trashy things going on in your life. He wants what he's been presented with on your profile. Which goes back to the item above, which is don't misrepresent yourself from the start.
- Treat your man with respect. Unless he's told you some fetish of being disrespected, he wants a warm body who makes him feel happy and important, smart and respected.
Of course, everything comes down to what you agree upon, but most men want someone to escape with - physically, mentally, intimately, whatever. They may be busy, which is fine - all the more reason that the small time you spend together is positive. He doesn't want to deal with your drama. That is YOUR issue, not his. If he wanted those issues, he'd ask to date or marry you, not create an arrangement with you.
This is just a small and disorganized list of tips. Perhaps at some point I will create a much cleaner list that is more well thought out... but I have a feeling over time as I write more about my specific experiences, that it will be apparent why I've been wanting to get all this out of my head...